Modalizer is created to open pages (links) in modal windows. It isn't really designed for this login purpose. The problem - as you state it - is that the form submits to the modal window and not the parent. There is no option in Modalizer (at this moment) to change the behavior of the form.
It is also a little tricky to let Modalizer do this, because some use it to open a form that is supposed to submit inside the modal (for instance, some calculation form).
You could use ReReplacer to add the target in the form tag of the login form. Even if that target is added to the form when it is not inside a modal window, it will still work fine.
See for a same discussion:
www.nonumber.nl/forum/11-modalizer/9029-login-and-modalizer