Overwhelmed

I'd like to think that I am the non-geek in a geek environment.

Okay, I might wear glasses. I might spend most my day behind the computer. But who doesn’t. And yeah, I am the introvert type that prefers online contact to offline contact. But that doesn’t make me a geek or a nerd.

And yeah, of course I am insecure about myself and try to hide it behind a camouflage of humor. And naturally I dream about how to code a certain extension and do the bug testing and fixing in my head - whilst still not quite awake. Of course my favorite choice of beverage is coffee and I was a virgin till I got married. That doesn’t make me a geek… does it?

Well, maybe just a little bit then.

Maybe the number one proof that I am a bit of a geek is this: I modestly seek approval and acceptance of others. Once I get it, my ego shuts down, my brain is baffled and my social skills are just above that of a Rottweiler. This is what happened to me lately…

Just before I went on my Holidays I was notified on being nominated for the J!Oscars (Joomla! Open Source Creative and Artistic Awards). Not only that, but in three categories. This had me mystified.

Working from home in an international market (Joomla!) kind of isolates you from the rest of the world. You have no idea of who is actually using your stuff and how much influence you have on others. Being nominated for this quite unexpectedly dropped the notion of maybe actually being someone and something in this brave new world.

Because I would not be able to attend the J! and Beyond conference (where the winners would be announced), I had to nominate someone to receive my prize on my behalf… if I would win. This made the whole surrealistic situation even more real. This is a pretty weird situation for someone who has only received a prize for play-backing Louise Armstrong when he was 9.

But at least I could still hide behind the fact that probably I wouldn’t win because there were much greater fish in the pool also nominated.

Then – whilst being on Holiday with near to no online time – the winners were announced.
I did indeed not win in any of these three categories. But I was awarded a reward for a ” special category: “Outstanding personal achievement”. This, to be honest, was a greater honor that the other categories. Wow, being recognized like this… not only by ‘my users’ but also by so many of the Joomla! Greats.

Well, as mentioned before: my ego shut down, my brain was baffled and my social skills were just above that of a Steak and Kidney pie. I was overwhelmed with a feeling of pride and self-respect which felt as awkward as wearing Speedo’s. I showed my wife the page and when she looked at my gleaming face, she thought: “What a geek!”. But – not being present at the conference - I still was not in contact with the people responsible. It still all felt rather unreal.

Because I was on Holiday my mind had time enough to think weirder than normal. Because I had nearly no online time, I had some time to write a little silly story about my holiday and these awards... Instead of a big thank you message – which would have been logical for someone with social skills. This is what my mind told me to write: Conspiracy: Italy and the dark side of the J!Oscars

Now, where does that leave us – 2 weeks later? Well, apparently that stupid blog post rubbed some people the wrong way. Making them disappointed in me rather than noticing my appreciation. I guess there was a much to great of a translation bridge to gap between my brain-farts and the hearts of the people that matter.

What I was trying to say was: Man, wow, I am out here in Italy trying to think of nothing. But all I think about now is how totally happy and proud I am of being put on a pedestal like this. Thanks people. I don’t even know all the people I should thank. But I guess – if you are reading this – you are somebody I should thank!

A special thank you to all the people involved in organizing the whole J! and Beyond conference and the J!Oscars (especially Brian Teeman).

Thank you!